Your sexual preference IS oppressive. I don’t care if you “can’t control” what you are attracted to. By not being attracted to (insert group here) you are actively oppressing them.
Let me just…
This is one of the silliest things I’ve ever heard. I hope it was said…
Wait, so you don’t agree that saying you’re not attracted to a certain race or group of people isn’t oppressive?
As being on the receiving end of those statements I can 100% agree that it is quite an oppressive feeling
I feel like this is more about sexual orientation than racial preference, but I’ll bite on that topic.
People have different preferences. Some people like men. Some people like women. Some people like black people, other people like white. Me, I prefer a redheaded or brunette lady to a blond any day. There’s nothing wrong with having preferences. I don’t see why a blond woman should be offended that my personal taste prefers brunettes, as long as I don’t treat her like less of a person. Plus, I’m a married man, so my attraction, or lack thereof, really shouldn’t influence our interaction anyway. Now yeah, if I decide that I’m going to just cut her off from any possibility of a romantic relationship (again not factoring in my marital status here) based solely on one aspect of her, I’m a jerk. But just having that initial attraction is normal, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.
I’m not really strongly attracted to women of other races, either. Controversial, maybe, but that’s just how it is for me. I don’t have any conscious objection to the concept of beauty in non-white women, and I can certainly acknowledge that they’re beautiful. But on a subconscious level, it just doesn’t “turn my key,” so to speak. It doesn’t trigger my libido the way seeing an attractive white woman does. I’m not particularly attracted to women that are much older than I am, either; that’s a lot more normal of a preference (though I know there are exceptions).
Same way with men. I know there are some very attractive men out there. I could probably identify a few of them. I can recognize the traits of beauty in their physical form and say “Hey, that’s a handsome fella.” But no matter how attractive a man is, I don’t have the base desire to interact sexually with him. The fact that I’m not attracted to them shouldn’t mean that I treat them like less of a human being any more than it should have that impact with a woman I don’t find attractive.
We make decisions, even conscious ones, about who we’re attracted to every day. Sometimes people decide they’re not attracted to someone because they don’t like their face, or the way their shoulders slouch, or any of a hundred different things. Now, obviously it’s wrong to write that person off as a human being just because you’re not sexually attracted to them. And if you get to know them and they’re a pretty good person, it’s worth considering trying to get over the physical trait that “turns you off” so that you can begin to pursue a sexual relationship with them, if that’s what you want to do.
Different races have different physical characteristics. If you don’t like black hair, chances are you’re not going to be attracted to many black people. If you don’t like blond hair, well, let’s just say I wouldn’t really be in a man’s paradise in Scandinavia. I guess it’s partly genetic, partly subconscious, and partly God only knows what, but our sexual preferences tend to develop largely apart from our conscious actions and desires. Obviously it’s wrong to write off a romantic candidate just because of their looks (and race is a big determiner of your looks). But physical attraction does come into it, and a lot of times it’s going to determine who you’re interested in in the first place. We can’t be attracted to everyone, and we shouldn’t have to.
The thing that really is silly to me is that the OP seems to think we should just all be attracted to everyone… like we should be DTF at all times and have absolutely no preferences, accepting all takers. Like if a gay guy came up to me and flirted with me I would be wrong to turn him down because I am not attracted to men. Like being a heterosexual is a bad thing that I should be ashamed of.
Obviously if someone came up to me that I didn’t find attractive and I turned them down, I wouldn’t tell them “It’s because I don’t like your nose” or “It’s because you’re black.” (Side note: There’s a massive difference between turning someone down because you’re not sexually attracted to their race and turning them down because you’re a racist prick who thinks they’re beneath you because they’re a different color.) I’d tell them it’s because they’re not my type, because I’m not an asshole. Well, I’d really tell them it’s because I’m married and I tend not to (read: don’t ever) sleep around, but we’ll assume I am a more promiscuous individual for the purposes of this example.
While I understand it’s tough to get rejected because someone doesn’t find you physically attractive, it’s a patently ridiculous notion that that person has a responsibility to somehow become attracted to everyone, so that they don’t offend anyone. As I said above, if that happens, you have no diversity. Everyone’s just the same, doing everything the same.
TL;DR: It’s not a sin to have a preference, as long as your actions aren’t guided wholly by said preference and your mind and sense of human decency has some say in it.
P.S.: Seeing this at the top of OP’s page…
“IF YOU ARE A WHITE CISHET MEN GET THE FUCK OUT AND NEVER FOLLOW ME. ”
Tends to make me think they’re not really the accepting and understanding type.
Re: “cishet”: An abbreviation of cisgendered (opposite of “transgender”) heterosexual: a person that identifies as the sex they were born as and are attracted to the opposite.
Apparently my opinions are invalid because I chose to have a sexual identity that is consistent with the physical traits I was born with. Also because I’m white.